Passion is a funny word. Follow your passion people advise, find your passion – there are books on how to do that! So what is this passion they speak to strongly of? Passion is when you put more energy into something than is required to do it.- New Urban Dictionary. Sounds good, but is that really the people’s definition? Well, I don’t know; but here’s mine. Passion: a deep over whelming drive to be doing a particular thing, a drive that moves you beyond the need for control, to a place where that control has given way to a faith that all will come together, fear is gone, a peace takes over. Passion, you will give up everything to follow it, but not in a scrambling out of control way, but in a methodical choreographed dance. Passion- When you have moved above the internal and external, past the material and monetary, beyond the physical. To follow that inner pull, that higher calling if you will.
For years I have said and have had said of me that I have a passion for various things… Haiti being one of those things. Having taken the time to really figure out what passion is to me, and the difference between the past and the present for me regarding Haiti; I can confidently say Haiti is now my passion, by all definitions.
Way leads onto way – Robert Frost The Road Not Taken. This six month trip to Haiti has been that completely. One connection, one discussion, one inquiry everything flowing seamlessly towards an end point, Haiti. I am beyond concern, I am working on faith, drive, dancing to a choreographed dance for which I was never given the choreography. I have no fear, just a sense that all is well, and will be well.
Now maybe you are thinking “what could she possibly have to be worried about, of course she is at peace…”. My dear, let be give you some examples. Let me hit your pocket first; my pay $600.00 a month, not a typo, you read it right! Not seeing my children for six months. The weight of starting a new position, Community Director, the development of and over sight of implementation of varies gardens: community, individual, and children’s, a poultry farm, rain water catchment systems, and possibly a herd of goats. Listed out this way they don’t look like much, the details however tip the scales. Daily food allowance $8.00. Housing allowance still unknown! There’s every reason for me to be resistant to this, to be looking for an out, but no, I feel completely at peace with this and am letting Way Lead Onto Way.
Here I sit on an airplane 1/2 way to California for two weeks of work, only to return two days before leaving for Haiti. My housing in Haiti is still in the air, a friend in Haiti is working on that as I wing my way across the United States. Not everything I need to have packed is packed or even purchased! Three suitcases of 50 pounds each are what I currently have and one more would be great! Are you a mess just reading this? Do you think I am completely insane? Thankful it is not you? I expect that you do, as this is not your passion.
THE ROAD NOT TAKEN
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.